Lighting the Way

As you may have gathered, I’m a very sensory person. Look, touch, feel, taste and sound affect me on another level. It’s something that comes from many parts of who I am. Grounding my senses by focusing on each of them has become a huge part of what keeps me bright in times of darkness. Today’s post is about creating that light both physically and mentally.

The first time I tried meditation was in college as a last resort. My sophomore year started out a mess because I was recovering from a very traumatic string of experiences. I tried to make spaces for dealing with it. Let myself grieve. Let myself go numb. Then I went through many nights of blackouts. I went through long lists of cringe inducing choices. Lying to anyone who showed worry or care about my state. Then as many who go through these benders do–I sought light. Upon a classmate’s insistence, I went to my school’s trauma counseling center. I humored journaling and tried to bring logic to it. That led to years of compartmentalizing. Years of putting my feelings in a dark box. Meditating coldly as my heart was not in it. Deep down, I judged the notion of getting better through this path. It did not connect me to myself. Instead the methods separated my heart and my head.

Then more years went by and I was attacked again. I reacted so viscerally that my body couldn’t help but crack open the dark box and put its contents before me. I had to trust myself this time if I was to take back control. So, I let it my PTSD get messy. I said the all the things I felt, acted up, emoted through art, and trusted myself enough to begin creating my own healing tools.

Before I go any further, I am not a licensed therapist. If you need guidance do not hesitate to reach out to mental health professionals. What I write is a way I’ve learned to deal and I am on a continuing journey of healing myself. Having said that, reconnecting with ourselves and what feels right is something I find to be undervalued. As a result, I’ve created some methods for myself based on my therapy experiences, books, and more. Many of these were based on my senses, the first of which I write on today: sight.

A large part of this sense for me is seeing beauty, light, and using it for visualization. When you create a beautiful world around you it helps reflect the respect you have for yourself. Now there’s a lot that can be done to help that and I’ll get into it all over time here but let’s start simple.

One word: Candles. Potent little vessels of light. You can use them to build your dreams and be more present. Building this awareness has helped me to trust myself and manage stressors more easily.

Let’s create a mediation out of it. Find a space for yourself. Any place that feels right for you is good. From the couch, a desk, or a quiet corner of the bedroom– they all work beautifully.

Got a place? Alright. Now pick a candle and light it. As you light it think of the world you want to create. Consider your dreams as things that are already yours–don’t think of how it’s possible just think of it as a given.

Go another level and add a vibe to it. Play music, write your thoughts, and look carefully at the light. See how long you can stay transfixed on the glow. Imagine the light as an energy to focus in on. Stay there as long or short as feels right and build on this. Your intuition will guide you on what is and what isn’t.

Another level of this is integrating scent. Scent can uplift and guide you. Lately I’ve been adoring candles from TWELVE 21 Candle Studio (as you see pictured throughout this post). I found them through fellow blogger and friend Amanda Kusek aka CHEAP COURAGE. Over these past few months Owner and Founder Renecia has come to know quite well that I am a candle lover. What has drawn me to her store time and time again are the intentions behind the candles. When a product and its maker align to create an energy for a client— it’s a beautiful thing.

She’s about creating moments, carving out spaces, and most of all good vibes. Candles and scents combined to create moments to find her passion. I highly suggested checking out her store on Etsy here. The selection of scents will transport you anywhere you want to go.

So as you can see, starting from light can help you begin to create a way to guide you forward and build your self-understanding. Steal away the time, that in all honesty was already yours, and I think you’ll find a stronger mega watt shine.

What ways to you bring light into your life? Do you use candles- if so what are your favorite kinds of candles and why?

(Featured portrait by Samuel Steele 2020)